


Expertise

by PoisonJack



Category: Borderlands, Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom
Genre: Established Relationship, Exhibitionism, Geneal AU, M/M, What else is new, apparently, drunk!Jack, hangovers, i think technically? idk, jack embarrasses rhys, mentions of smutty smutty smut smut, rhys is REALLY good at blowjobs apparently, rhys is a sex god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 16:00:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5831794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonJack/pseuds/PoisonJack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Request fill for anon. :) </p>
<p>"Drunk Jack telling a 30 min speech in front of all helios during a social event of the company, talking about how good is Rhys in the bed. Rhys is so embarrassed that he doesn't want to stand and make Jack shut his mouth so he just let him finish. By the end all the employees are like in an awkward silence because they don't know what to do so after a moment they just start clapping while Rhys is like hiding because he wants to die xD"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Expertise

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you sweet anon. This grabbed me and pulled me right in bahaha <3 Excellent prompt right up my alley.

“And I’m not exaggerating. I-I’m not. Like I mean _come-at-just-the-memory_ good.”

Rhys slid further down in his chair. He was nearly on the floor at this point, his face scarlet as Jack delivered a speech from the podium on stage, glass of champagne in his hand.

“Like you know when you’re just about to lose it, and you’re trying to hold off…‘cause it feels _sooo_ good like I mean he has an ass that’s just made to be _pounded_ …. fuck… but they give you this look, right?”

“Oh god….” Rhys wished an airlock would suck him out into space.

“ _Yeeeeeah_ you know the one I’m talking about, don’t you Stevens?”

For some reason, Jack had managed to convince Rhys to come out with him to the bar to drink away some jittery nerves. Hyperion had had an excellent third quarter, and Jack held the expected celebratory party for upper management and stockholders which he also expected Rhys to attend. The younger man had never been to one of these before, and the idea that he’d be around such important people really intimidated him (though in hindsight, he’d forgotten that the number one person he _should_ have worried about and been intimidated by was Handsome Jack himself).

He was nervous he’d say something wrong, offend the wrong person, or somehow embarrass Jack. He literally knew no one who would be at the large gathering, so just being out of his element was cause enough for concern. So off to the bar it was, and after his second beer, Rhys felt confident, relaxed, and okay again. He’d be able to socialize with these important jerks just fine. The beer had done the trick.

Jack, however, was drinking tequila. He’d outpaced Rhys long before he’d finished his first beer, and the CEO had gotten _hammered_. 

“And you just go hard. Like he might be stringy and sh-stuff, but I can be going _nuts_ back there- pfft…nuts… And he’s just saying _‘Oh Handsome Jack harder harder!_ ’”

Rhys didn’t think the higher pitch of voice was necessary but more than that he wished Jack would shut the hell up. He’d had one job to do, and that was to thank everyone for their hard work (in his usual caustic manner), tell them his expectations for fourth quarter, and leave. That was it.

Instead, Jack had been on a thirty minute tirade about how good Rhys was in bed. Rhys was too embarrassed to get up and stop him, and no one else was brave enough to try to shut Handsome Jack up. And so the man was going on and on and Rhys was just glad he hadn’t gotten to some of the kinkier shit.

_Yet._

“And he does this thing when’s he’s got your dick in his mouth– _I shit you not_ I don’t know how he does it, I’m not even sure if that’s his _tongue_ \- but let me tell you, if Hyperion sold blowjobs instead of weapons, he’d be on top of me- _he’d_ be _on top_ , not _me_. Heh. Heh heh heh…wait where was I going with this?”

Jack took a draught from the champagne flute in his hand as he was thinking, and a pin drop could have been heard in the room. No one had looked at Rhys in a while aside from the initial stares as Jack had begun, thinking it was some kind of joke or something. Rhys wasn’t sure now if he was thankful for that or not, because all eyes and ears were glued on Jack in horrified focus. This year’s celebration was a lot more interesting than last year.

“Well, anyways yeah whatever what I’m saying is that he is _gooood_. Like I don’t think any of you pen- _peons_ have even a smudge… a smidgen of talent he does. And you know who you are. _This_ dick-” he pointed to his groin, “-is not impressed.”

Jack stood there a but wobbly, taking his time to finish his champagne flute, then looked around for somewhere to put the empty glass. He couldn’t find anywhere close enough so he just chucked it behind him where it broke somewhere with a delicate smash.

He hung off the podium with both forearms over the front, and nobody moved. He seemed to still be thinking, like he’d forgotten something. A smile wormed its way over his face. “Oh yeah, so keep working hard. I mean like hard, not _dick_ -hard.” Jack was snickering at his own joke. “I want sales up.”

Jack laid his head down on the podium to rest a minute, thinking the rest of that champagne wasn’t quite a good idea.

Rhys, from where he was sitting, secretly hoped Jack had keeled over. He was completely red, dying with embarrassment, and somehow, the light snoring that could be heard from the podium made the whole ordeal even worse.

People were looking around unsure of what to do, the silence even more awkward than Jack’s horrendous speech. Rhys refused to move or meet any of the eyes that searched over him. Then someone started clapping, and someone else. Soon the entire room was applauding like it was the most natural thing to do in this situation. Which it would have been. If only the speech had gone differently.

Jack’s head snapped up, looking confused a moment before he grinned, winked out at everyone, and slowly weaved off the stage as he made for Rhys. The younger man was trying to hide under a table at this point before Jack bodily dragged him out.

Rhys had no pity for the older man’s headache the next day. And he didn’t help Jack at all with the hangover, letting him suffer while Jack kept asking him why he was giving him that look and to please _please_ get him some aspirin.

Jack got a pillow to the face instead.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on tumblr as I fill a lot of random muse sentence prompts, but this grabbed me so fully I had to answer it there haha.
> 
> http://purge-that-urge-rhackathon.tumblr.com


End file.
